I firmly believe that every happy life, every positive change, and every happy relationship begins with more self-love! Self-love is ultimately what makes us happy!
But it’s not enough to just "talk yourself into" loving yourself more from now on. You have to prove it to yourself. So how exactly can you learn to love yourself more? And how can you make sure that you give yourself love that you so ardently desire, and that you deserve? I have compiled 20 things for you to do here…
Sleep has been absolutely undervalued for the last decades. And now that we know how important sleep is, we still don’t take it seriously enough.
To take better care of yourself, you need to learn more about your sleep. And in my experience, there are a few steps to take.
First and foremost, you should ask yourself if you ever feel properly rested. Because if not, you can then go on to download one of those cool sleep apps that let you analyze your sleep.
I used the app "Sleep Cycle", it was great. In the meantime, I have a FitBit tracker. It’s great too! Also, you should look up approximately how much sleep you need. It depends on age and health condition.
I’m not saying your life will miraculously change completely because of a little more sleep. But I am convinced that if you take your sleep seriously enough, your body will finally have a little more energy. And that brings you much closer to a happy and positive life.
[bctt tweet="I’m not saying your life will change completely because of a little more sleep. But your body will finally have more energy. And that brings you much closer to a happy and positive life. Verena Freit"]
Drink more water
This point is especially close to my heart! I know first hand how important it is to drink enough water, but until recently I didn’t give it enough interest. I didn’t make water a priority until my doctor presented me with the negative results of my kidney exam. My kidneys did not work properly anymore. And that can be dangerous. Fortunately for me it was still early enough. But I had to act immediately. In the meantime I take drinking more important than ever.
Plant-based whole foods (as often as possible)
I love to grill. Especially if it’s Argentine "asado" (please, google that, it’s delicious!). But I also know that too many animal products are not good for us. The same goes for white sugar and other industrially manufactured products that are full of preservatives and other additives.
Last year I still had some kind of physical pain on a regular basis. If it wasn’t my back, it was my head. Some part of your body has always hurt. So I made a promise to myself. I wanted to make conscious eating a priority. So I started trying out different diets.
But every time I tried a so-called diet I couldn’t go through with it because it seemed too radical to me. As I said before, I love meat and I love sugar.
Then I realized that it doesn’t have to be a decision between black or white. Food should be fun and something to be enjoyed. If you keep thinking chocolate is your enemy, it will be. And your body will follow suit.
So I took all the different nutritional wisdom I studied and mixed my own "dosage". Meanwhile my diet looks like this: I eat vegan very often and am almost constantly sugar free. BUT there are two important exceptions: I still drink my coffee with regular cow’s milk and I sometimes eat tuna in my salads.
And when we have a family gathering or eat out, I allow myself whatever I’m hungry for.
My conclusion is that you should NEVER listen to diets that try to forbid you things completely. White sugar is bad for the body only in ABUNDANCE. The same applies to industrially produced foods. In moderation, they are not YOUR enemy.
Oh and by the way, now, after about 6 months with my new eating style, I’m healthier than ever!
Not so much gossiping and complaining anymore
Yes, I know, it is tempting. Gossiping and complaining has always made us feel good. Sometimes it’s just an outlet for our frustrations. At least that’s what we think when we tell anyone who asks how bad our day was today.
Maybe next time you should back off a little, take a deep breath and remember this: talking about the negative things will only bring you more negativity. And even worse, you infect your counterpart with your negativity.
Instead you could try to transform your conversations. For example: "Man, I really had a sh…day, how good it is that it is over now. So, let’s talk about something nice."
Not only will you retrain your brain to not take the negative so seriously, but also to look for the positive. AND better yet, you could infect your counterpart with your positivity. Win:win so!
Less TV / Netflix
Ok, I think I owe you a confession. I love Netflix. I hardly watch TV anymore, but when it comes to shows like Supernatural, TBBT or Grimm, I can barely contain myself.
And since I work alone from home, there’s no one there to hold me back either.
But I know that if I spend too much time watching the stories on the screen, I miss out on a lot of my own. And I love my story too much for that. It’s too bad to shift the focus from MY life to a fictional life.
So, let me challenge you: let’s watch NO TV/Netflix for a week. I’ll let you know how it goes for me if you do the same, deal?
More favorite music
My Youtube account has a separate list with my favorite songs. No matter how I feel right now, when I play the list, I get wings!
It’s scientifically proven that music can be powerful for your emotions. It can make your mind turn completely. So music that reminds you of happy times can make you happy.
Your list may have only a few songs at the beginning, but believe me, once it exists, you will find more and more songs.
Fortunately, almost all of us are now equipped with mobile devices. So if you’re sitting in your car and the radio plays a song you like: BAM, just a few clicks and the song is on your list (of course, STOP FIRST AND STOP THE MOTOR!!). If you are sitting in a bar and you hear a great song: BAM, off to the list.
Extra tip: Think back to a time when you were really happy. Write down the year this happened. Then google the summer hits from the year. I guarantee you’ll find what you’re looking for there!!
[bctt tweet="It’s scientifically proven that music can be powerful for your emotional world. It can completely change your mind. So music that reminds you of happy times can make you happy. Verena Freit"]
Laugh more often
How often have you heard that we should laugh more often?? Easier said than done, isn’t it?? Don’t worry, here are 3 ways you’re guaranteed to laugh more.
ONE: Comedy. There are more and more good comedians, also in Germany. Guaranteed laughs!
TWO: Find someone to watch the comedians with you. Then you’ll have something for weeks to come. If you find someone with the same sense of humor, you’re guaranteed twice as many laughs!
THREE: Invite your friends to a game night. Play charades or taboo! Play any game that forces you to make an ass of yourself! I can still laugh about memories of certain game nights today!
Doing something creative with your time, be it with your head or your hands, just releases happiness hormones right away. Whether it’s gardening, painting, redecorating or making pottery. Whatever piques your interest.
Creativity is a form of rest for conscious thinking. You are absolutely in the now. And you should spend as much time as you can in the now.
Not only the prospect of this time just for you, but also the results of this time, such as a finished painting or the beautiful manicured garden, will make you smile.
[bctt tweet="Creativity is a form of respite for conscious thinking. You are absolutely in the now. And you should spend as much time as you can in the now. Verena Freit"]
Take care of your home
This is where many frown. How can the household have anything to do with self-love? Well, that is very simple! Our home plays an essential role in our lives. We spend 50% of our time there. And it reflects our essence. That’s why I treat our home like a temple. Household is not another task for me, it is a kind of care for myself. If I keep my surroundings clean and tidy, I give my environment the respect it deserves! And therefore also to myself.
Love your job
When I see how many people around me are trapped in jobs that don’t make them happy, I get all sad. They think they’re only worth as much as their boss gives them credit for. They settle for situations because they are afraid of not being appreciated. Hours spent with sometimes toxic people because they don’t dare face them with their own opinions. They hardly get out of bed in the morning because they just don’t feel inspired. The job, the way we earn our money, is sacred to me. And it is an increasingly common contributor to dissatisfaction and frustration in our times. So we should think carefully about how we want to spend our days.
Everything we see, hear, feel, smell and taste, our brain takes in EVERYTHING. And yet we humans also have some kind of influence on our outside world. For our thoughts also shape the world we experience outside. Just as, for example, positive thoughts reduce our sensitivity to pain. In any case, the fact is that we can always consciously influence the positivity of our lives. Whether we feed our brain with positive things from the outside (books, nice movies, lovely people, an active lifestyle, etc) or not.), or consciously steer our inner thoughts in a positive direction – both are up to us!
Which brings us to the next point. The people we surround ourselves with also influence our lives. There is a saying that our life reflects the 5 people we spend the most time with. From motivation, to finances, daily routines, we align everything to these 5 people. I would like to challenge you right now to think what exactly YOU take on from these 5 people…it will surprise you!
Now to the relationships that you sometimes can’t choose. For example, the family, or even the work colleagues or neighbors. If the relationship with such people does not bring only joy into our lives, we can make the decision to make it as positive as possible.
Do these people like to blaspheme, you could actively change the subject. Do they like to interfere in lives unasked, you could try to avoid certain topics. If they are causing you concern, you can try to take a little bit of a step back from them yourself. And always very important: talk to each other, and do it openly and honestly. Share your feelings as best you can. As the saying goes: "Only speaking people can be helped."
Connection to your inner child
The inner child lives in all of us. When we are unhappy, it very often has to do with the fact that we no longer pay attention to this creature. Because it needs an incredible amount of attention from us. And it’s not always about the playful component. But also about security, self-confidence, certain fears, and many other things. One task that always brings me a lot of clarity, especially when things are just going off track, is the following:
I imagine myself facing myself at 6 years old. If this 6 year old was going through the same situation, what would she need?? Affection? Encouragement? Encourage? Or maybe just a calm voice telling her that everything will be alright again? I promise, if you look for yourself what you would give this girl, it will help you. Guaranteed!
[bctt tweet="Our inner child needs an incredible amount of attention from us. And it’s not always about the playful component. But also about security, self-confidence, certain fears, and many other things. Verena Freit"]
This is also one thing we were very good at as children. Just let our thoughts wander. Just bring daydreaming into our everyday life. I can tell you when my youngest is daydreaming as a horse she can’t get anything out of her role. And I would not want it either. Just play along. You should keep daydreaming as long as possible.
The good thing is – if we also gradually integrate daydreaming into our everyday life not so often, it’s like riding a bike. We never unlearn. Just practice more often again. Then everything will come back. And visualization is one of the most effective tools on the way to our happy life.
[bctt tweet="The good thing is – even if we gradually don’t integrate daydreaming into our daily lives as often, it’s like riding a bike. We never unlearn it. Just practice again more often, then everything will come back again. Verena Freit"]
Which brings us directly to this point. Having a vision of our own is the most loving thing we can do for ourselves. Cause our life is always moving forward. The difference lies in whether we ourselves determine the direction, or chance. That’s why I work with MONTHLY vision boards in my coaching sessions. For every area of life there is a vision. Give it a try! A board for your home, one for your body, one for you and your spouse, etc.
From vision you automatically get to goals. Because a vision is nice, but you also have to plan the way to get there as well. In my free resources there is a guide on how to plan every step from your vision to monthly and weekly goals to daily habits. Have a look.
Set yourself challenges
Human beings are made to face challenges. The feeling of having mastered a challenge sets off incredible emotions. To grow beyond ourselves was laid in our cradle. That’s why you should answer the call of a challenge every now and then. But beware, it can be addictive. So always plan some breaks between challenges. When you sprint from challenge to challenge you don’t have time to enjoy your successes!
Contact with the inner heroine
Speaking of challenges! If at any time you are stuck in your uncertainty about whether to tackle something or not, look deep inside you for your inner heroine. It’s always there. Like the inner child, it is only sometimes hidden, or at worst buried. But with a little good listening and if we create the right conditions for them, they will become stronger again and let us see them more often.
By the way, it’s also fun to give your inner heroine a dynamic and name all her own. You can dream up all kinds of superpowers and then ask yourself, "What would my superheroine do??"
One of my favorite self-love exercises. Yes, I sometimes sit on the couch and do nothing! Let my thoughts run free. No household, no to-dos, not even children around. Just have a healthy boredom! You should urgently try this!