Single parent, patchwork, rainbow family – so what?! As part of our new series "We are family – as diverse and colorful as life", we asked parents who have a family beyond the classic mom-dad-child(ren) model how they manage their everyday lives in this way and how those around them encounter them. Read for yourself what Bjoern and Christian have to say on the subject!
1. How did the family construct you are now living in evolve?
My husband (Christian – Papi) came at some point and asked me if I could imagine taking in a foster child, which I immediately denied. I was much too afraid to put all my love, my emotions, my values into a child, so that then the office calls after three years, says thank you, and then takes the child away. So we went through the adoption process in our county. Meanwhile, we also learned a lot about care, probabilities, destinies and small dwarfis. After finishing the adoption process it was clear that the probability of adopting a child someday was close to zero. I had learned a lot, so we started the foster child process, which we were able to greatly shorten by using the previous process. Four days after graduation, the call came that they had a child for us. 12 weeks later Zwergi moved in with us. Today, six months later, we can say that we have become a family. The way there was stony, also not always nice, but so worthwhile!
2. How do people around you react to your family? Have you ever felt discriminated against?? If so, in what situation? How did you deal with it?
My parents (Bjoern – Dad) stumbled for a moment about it. They had finished with the thought of grandchildren at my outing 21 years ago. They needed a moment to be all the stronger and clearer with their role as grandpa and grandma today. For Chris, our foster son provided a family reunion. He hadn’t really been in contact with his parents for a while and Zwergi was actually the trigger for a new beginning of sorts.
At the beginning of the adoption process all friends were completely in favor of it, during the fostering process more and more voices came up asking us why we want to do this to ourselves. These voices faded as we explained more of the process in general, the initiation process (phase of beginning bond building) in detail, the background and the system. Otherwise, we have never had to experience anything negative in public so far – on the contrary! We receive many curious, smiling and supportive looks. In our village near Munich we are totally accepted and with children’s gymnastics, crèche and co. also fully integrated.
3. On a scale from 0 to 10, how much do you feel your family model is accepted by society?
We would give this a 7 to 8. If we look around only in Germany, it is until today a model, which is just not "normal". Where people quickly worry about the children and their development or integration. That love is much more important, and in this it does not matter at all from whom or especially from which "model" they receive it… does not matter to them at all. The company but still not quite.
About Bjoern& Christian
Dad and daddy are Bjoern and Christian. Bjoern works in television, Christian is a flight attendant and team leader at a large German airline. We have been a couple for nine years and married for four (first registered civil partnership, then marriage). We have always been a family, namely two men and a dog (first Golden Retriever Romeo, now Labrador Anton). In January of this year, our foster son (affectionately known as Zwergi) and I had a complete. With our Instagram blog @papaundpapi we want to be as loud as possible and reach a whole lot of people. Once to show what life is like with foster child. There are so many foster kids desperate for a family. But many people are afraid of that and we want to reduce that a little bit. And secondly, because we want to show our family model. We want it to be seen that it doesn’t matter at all whether a child is daddy and mommy, mommy and mommy, daddy and daddy, etc. has. It is important that the child experiences love, no matter from whom!
Dear parent bloggers!
Family is something unique and looks different for each person. We want to know how it is with you. Therefore, we call on all parent bloggers who find themselves in our interviews: Get in touch with us at [email protected]! Tell us about your families, your experiences and your small personal happiness.
Any readers without a blog of their own are welcome to tell us in a comment below this article what makes their family unique to them. We are eager to hear your stories!
Hashtags: #wearefamily #myfamily #familyforall
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