10 Steps to win back your ex

A realistic chance to win back your ex exists especially if you follow a proven strategy as early as possible. Moreover, it is very important to avoid the 10 biggest mistakes that almost everyone makes after a breakup. So that our readers do not continue to grope in the dark, but from today have as great a chance as possible to close their great love soon again in the arms, we have written this article.

10 steps to win back your ex

Very likely you are doing anything but well right now, you feel empty and you miss the person who made you very happy not long ago: Your ex. Has your partner left you and you do not know what to do now? Then the heartbreak will surely get you down too.

The most important thing right now is not your ex(es), but YOU YOURSELF . That’s why we’re going to show you how to get a grip on your heartbreak, so you can start feeling a little better tomorrow. This is the only way you’ll be able to muster up the energy you need to win back your better half right now.

Since the topic of "winning back ex" can be very complex and special, this article has become very detailed. So we want to answer all your questions and make sure that you are perfectly prepared for everything that is coming up in the next weeks. We, the team of Loving Penguin Relationship Advice, will go into the following points in this article:

Table of contents

From today on you have to use every single day actively to get closer to your ex-partner again step by step. There will be many little things and special situations that will determine whether you will soon be able to spend a happy future with your ex again.

The key to success is the right preparation: If you know how to handle yourself in different situations, like z.B. If you have to behave in the contact with your ex-partner, then you have every reason to be optimistic and hopeful.

Can I really manage to win back my ex??

Of course, we can’t tell you at this point, without knowing your case, that you can win your ex back for sure. But we are very optimistic that you can do it too. There are two good reasons for our optimism:

  • Your ex has been in love with you before. You have all the prerequisites to make your ex fall head over heels in love with you. With a little luck and a few good tips, your ex will feel even stronger emotions for you than last time.
  • Our strategy has been able to save many relationships in the past. There have always been very hopeless cases here, where the person concerned had already lost all hope. Fortunately, these readers also changed their minds and tried a reconquest after all.

We are of the opinion that it is always worth fighting for your ex. You don’t meet many people in life that you admire and respect so much that you want to be with them for a long time, maybe even for life. Finding such a person is something very special that you should not simply "throw away" in any case, if there is still a possibility to win back this person. A fulfilled love and relationship is the most beautiful thing you can wish for in life.

In order for your life to be fulfilled and happy again soon, it is also essential that you do not make any of the typical 10 mistakes. More about this in a moment.

The golden rule of contact

There are many rules and tips that you need to follow from now on so that your reconquest plan can succeed. A very big influence on your chance has the right dosage of contact. If in doubt, less is more here. We have worked for years on the subject of "Winning Ex Back." I have studied a lot, read a lot of books and attended a lot of seminars. One thing everyone agrees on: You have to reduce contact with your ex-partner from now on. This may be very difficult for you, but unfortunately there is no way around it.

Survey: Contact with ex-partner

There are different views on whether it is better to break off contact completely (Contact Blocking) or just to limit (Switch contact). Many strategies make it very easy for themselves and recommend to break off the contact completely, but we think this recommendation is unprofessional and unfair to you. After all, you are currently fighting for one of the most important people in your life.

In many cases, the contact ban is indeed the right step, but there are also some cases in which it will not drive your ex-partner back into your arms, but on the contrary, will only increase the distance between you.

A very simple and obvious example is here z.B., Your ex broke up with you because you hardly saw each other, you were very busy at work, or you didn’t pay enough attention to him or her. In such a case, you run the risk that your ex-partner will only feel further confirmed in his/her decision by your no-contact policy. But you want to achieve exactly the opposite: Your ex-partner should start doubting his/her decision to separate as soon as possible.

Therefore, you should consider both the complete no-contact strategy and the alternating contact strategy for your case and think carefully about them, Which of the two strategies is more promising?. In some cases, a complete contact ban is impossible from the start, z.B. if you work together or have children together.

If you choose the right strategy, it is very likely that your ex will contact you occasionally or very often. Of course, this is a very good sign, but it is important that you stay "on the carpet" in these moments, your Emotions under control You always give your ex-partner the impression that you live a very happy life without him, and that he is a good person YOU must convince you to give him/her a second chance again.

The real reasons for separation

It can be very important and helpful to know and understand the real reasons for the breakup. In the majority of cases your ex has separated from you. But there are also cases where you broke up with your ex-partner, changed your mind and now you want him back after all.

It’s not a nice feeling to be dumped by the person who means an immense amount to you and whom you love. The breakup hurts a lot, your self-confidence may have suffered and you have to think about whether and how to tell your friends and family about the breakup. We can understand you very well and would like to take a look at your breakup together with you and understand its reasons better.

Please don’t blindly trust that the reasons your ex used to explain the breakup are the real reasons for the breakup. Often your ex-partner hides important reasons for the breakup because he/she does not want to hurt you, wants to avoid discussions or is not really clear why he/she does not want to be with you anymore.

Some of the typical reasons for breaking up are:

5 typical reasons for separation

Why do you want to get back together with your ex??

We have already talked a little bit about how to win your ex back and what you need to keep in mind. But before you start putting your reconquest plan into action, you should first ask yourself why you want to be with your ex again.

Usually our readers have reasonable reasons why they want to fight for their relationship and their ex(s). But sometimes it is also advisable to let your ex go, because the reasons for getting back together are the wrong ones.

Wrong reasons for wanting to win your ex back are:

  • Because you can’t be alone.
  • Because you are afraid that you will not find a new partner.
  • Because you’re financially dependent on your ex-partner.
  • Because you were together for so long.
  • Out of pure pride.
  • Because your friends and family liked your ex so much.

Right reasons, on the other hand, are z.B.:

  • Because you love your ex sincerely.
  • Because you are both perfect for each other.
  • Because you only broke up because of a big fight, although everything else in your relationship was right.
  • Because you were both very happy together.
  • Because there is no one for you who is such a dear, admirable and unique person as your ex(s).

What do you have to do during the change of contact strategy or contact ban??

In the next few days you will be seeing your ex much less (Switch contact strategy) or don’t see them at all (Contact ban). But that does not mean that we have nothing to do for you during this time& On the contrary, we have some tasks for you!

Here again as a reminder the four most important points of the golden rule of contact:

Contact rules
  • Don’t call your ex-partner, write him very few to no Whats-App or Facebook messages, emails, etc.
  • Do not spy on your ex-partner. We suggest you worry about him as little as possible. Don’t succumb to the temptation to check his Facebook page daily to see what he’s up to and who he’s hanging out with.
  • If your ex tries to contact you, be friendly, but distant.
  • Should your ex(s) z.B. Talk to friends about you, then ignore what he says and don’t let him influence you. (even if he should say things that hurt you a lot)

Also, please avoid the following things:

  • Don’t lock yourself up at home and just lie in bed all day long.
  • Control your eating behavior: Eating neither too much nor too little is good.
  • Do not try to suppress your sorrow with alcohol.
  • Your ex is not the only interesting topic of conversation. Don’t spend every free minute of the day talking to your friends only about your ex.

Now that you know the most important things NOT to do, we can focus on your real task at hand. In the center of this task is no one less than yourself. Starting today, we want you to actively use every day to work on yourself.

It is very likely that your ex-partner will inquire about you one to several times in the near future. If he does, you have to surprise him. Once your ex sees what a full and interesting life you lead and that you have become even more attractive, he/she will feel admiration and affection for you.

How do you inspire attraction and admiration in your ex partner?

There are a number of tips and measures you can take to make your ex partner long for you again and want to spend his life with you. You can change in the following two categories:

  • Changes in your appearance
  • Change your life / daily routine

Changes in your appearance

You are free to decide if you want to change only small details of your appearance, or maybe try a completely new style. You are also welcome to get help from a professional type consultant. But one thing is important above all: You need to feel good about yourself.

You can change the following things about your appearance:

  • Change your clothing style.
  • Get in shape. (preferably about a sport that you enjoy a lot)
  • Eat healthy.
  • Take care and pamper your body (with good skin creams, perfumes and other feel-good products)

All these tips apply to both men and women. Even if you are a man, you can take care of your skin and eat healthy. You can believe us when we tell you that these measures will have a very positive effect on you.

Changes to your life and your daily routine

This point is doubly important: it will ensure that your ex will soon see you in a completely different light, and it will help you control your heartbreak and give you the strength you need to win back the most important person in your life.

You can change a lot of things in your life. At this point, we would like to concentrate on the suggestions that can be implemented quickly and easily. But that doesn’t mean you should only consider these suggestions. It’s entirely up to you what you want to change. For example, if you would like to look for a job, please start right now. We just don’t put suggestions like this in our list because it’s not easy for most of our readers to change jobs in a short period of time.

The best suggestions for making changes to your life are:

  • Find at least one new hobby! Learn a musical instrument, Learn a language, Start cooking, Read a book, Paint, Play chess, etc.
  • Do sports! Of course, this is also in hobby. Sport should be a fixed part of your life from now on at the latest. You can’t imagine the enormous impact sports has not only on your physical well-being, but on your mental well-being as well.
  • Maintain social contacts! Meet with your friends and family regularly. You are also welcome to look for new contacts, e.g.B. about one of your new hobbies or social networks and dating sites.
  • Pamper yourself! Treat yourself once in a while and have fun. Go out to eat at a nice restaurant, go shopping or just take a spontaneous trip for the weekend.
  • Flirt! Yes, you are still on the right side here. Of course we know that you want to win your ex back and that you are not looking for a new partner. But flirting helps you build up your self-confidence and gain some practical experience in dealing with the opposite sex. We are sure that your new flirting skills will help you a lot the next time you meet your ex.

Our Insider tip for grief-stricken days: If you can’t stand it at all one day and the thought of your ex threatens to overwhelm you, write down your thoughts in a letter or diary. IMPORTANTYour thoughts are only meant for you. Do not send your letter to your ex under any circumstances!

Contacting your ex: this is how it works

If you follow our tips, then you have a good chance that your ex will get in touch with you on his/her own accord. But sooner or later you will have to contact your ex on your own initiative. Once the time has come, you should definitely follow a few important rules.

Opinions vary widely as to which is the best way to make contact. While some "experts" advise writing a long letter (which we strongly advise you not to do!), again recommend others to meet your ex-partner "by chance" on the street.

There is no "one-size-fits-all" approach to contacting your exproperly" and "wrong". It all depends on the situation, on your strengths and weaknesses, and on your ex-partner(s). Here are a few examples:

  • Are you very charming and witty? Then you will be able to shine in a phone call or a personal meeting.
  • Are you rather shy and small talk is not your strength?? Then it can be easier for you to write a text message or an email.
  • If your ex-partner is still friendly to you? Then he will respond to a phone call as well as a text message.
  • If your ex-partner has so far blocked all contact? Then he’ll probably just ignore a text message, and the only way you can get him to pay attention to you again is via a phone call or a face-to-face run-in.

The 4 ways of contacting

If you want to contact your ex-partner, you can choose between one of the following four ways. Of course you can and should z.B. at a Switch contact strategy Also like to mix:

All or nothing: Your new first date

You have almost reached your goal. After you’ve implemented all of our recommendations, the moment will come when you’ll want to ask your ex out on your first, new date.

Depending on the starting situation, you can either do this in a very subtle way, or you need to be very direct. We recommend combining both ways in the following ways.

Strategy 1: The spontaneous meeting

As the name suggests, in this case you spontaneously contact your ex-partner. You can do this either by phone or by text message, although a phone call here has important advantages.

The strategy is as simple as it is efficient: you ask your ex:

Of course, there is no guarantee that your ex will agree to a spontaneous meeting. Maybe he or she is not even at home or is busy at the moment. But you can and must take this risk with confidence. Because the big advantage of this strategy is that if you get a rejection after that, you can try again with the same strategy 2 without losing face.

Strategy 2: The planned meeting

This strategy is also as simple as it sounds: you do not spontaneously call your ex-partner, but plan a meeting with him in a few days. You can do this either by phone, text message or email.

This strategy allows your ex-partner to plan your meeting in peace and propose a suitable date. However, a "no" at this point hurts especially, because with a "no" your ex-partner clearly tells you that he does not want to see you at the moment yet.

How to behave when your ex refuses to meet you?

You should prepare yourself well for this situation. Although we are convinced that you have an exceedingly good chance of meeting your ex at this point, you also need to be perfectly prepared just in case.

Therefore, mentally deal with the possibility that he or she will refuse to meet you. If this happens, don’t despair and don’t be shocked.

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