So that we understand ourselves correctly here, women always express themselves clearly and distinctly. Sometimes… …once in a while… Well, apparently so rarely that after the article "How well do you speak man??" asked several times to translate the foreign language "woman" too. Because also women have confusing texts in their language use – present ones of course always excluded… Well, let’s dare to translate them to avoid misunderstandings in the future.
1. "Honey, what do you think of my dress!?"
Basically, it doesn’t matter what you think of your sweetheart’s dress, because it doesn’t matter to the woman either. What a woman in response to the question: "What do you think of my dress?", wants to hear is that she looks good. When woman feels good, she wants to look like Grace Kelly. When a woman is having a bad day, she at least wants to look like Lady Gaga.
Whether a woman is in a good mood or not is not always easy from the outside looking in. Either way, woman wants to be special for you!
Tip: Women pay more attention to actions than to nice words when responding to you. So when you say: "Honey, you look good.", and they are looking at other women all evening, you will surely provoke an "attractive" argument. Here’s the thing: after this question, have a particularly attentive as well as tender look for your sweetheart.
2. "I’m almost done, honey."
She’s standing in the bathroom, making herself pretty and warbling elatedly that she’ll be ready soon. It is clear that men in love consider the lady of their hearts the most beautiful woman in the world – no matter what she looks like. That’s why it’s illogical for men why a woman has to style herself at all. The answer is simple: It’s the female princess gene. Women like to look good and please. Even if it takes a little time.
When she says she’ll be ready soon, you can relax, because it may take a while… But as soon as the bathroom door opens, you need to stand by and give a highly respectful "Wow!" marvel.
Tip: Since the time in the bathroom can be extended indefinitely, it is advisable if you ask your beloved for a concrete time slot. So they don’t have to serve nonsensical time, but can possibly get a better understanding of the language. dedicate to a newspaper or something similar. Insist on an exact time, because this way you can be back in time when your sweetheart steps elfishly out of the bathroom to admire them extensively.
3. "Honey, we need to talk!"
Most men get an eerie chill down their spine when they sense a relationship conversation coming on. Because that means for the man: talking without a clear call to action and without meaning, especially if nothing is broken (yet). And for the woman: waiting for a very special answer (which he must sense telepathically). Secret female messages men rarely understand. Why also, among men one speaks clearly and directly or not at all! So why encrypt anything!? Women, on the other hand, want to be nice, they don’t want to hurt anyone – that’s why a lot of things get dumbed down.
Moreover, women often talk to maintain relationships and because of the need for emotional closeness. So just the silence, because " Let’s talk!" often just means "I miss you!" or "I want to be close to you!"
4. "What are you thinking right now?"
A moment of familiarity and silence. Woman wonders: "Is he enjoying this wonderful moment as I am or is he absent in thought?" In other words means "What are you thinking right now?": "Are you in your attention here?"
At this point, most relationship advice recommends hiding the truth – namely, that you were just thinking about work and would rather be at the computer; and instead, purring in your sweetheart’s ear: "I was just thinking how nice it is with you."
This is definitely the less confrontational way to go at first, but if your sweetheart knows you, she’ll know you’re fibbing and continue to probe. That’s why I recommend the following: Keep it honest and wrap it up charmingly, for example like this: "Darling, the time with you is wonderful. Unfortunately, I don’t manage to switch off right now the way I would like to and the way you deserve it. There’s a deadline for project XY, and there’s still so much to be done. Let’s take next Saturday but again really time for each other?"
Here it is then important that you keep your promise, because hot air and empty promises remain ill-tempered in the memory of every woman.
5. "I am too fat!"
Attention trap! If a woman says: " I am too fat!", she basically wants to hear a compliment like: "I don’t think so at all, you look great and I like you the way you are."
Let’s imagine the same situation among men; he to him: "I am too fat!", then the other person would answer "Yes, and you’re ugly too!"
If you tell a woman this as a man, you don’t need to show your face to her at first. Actually mean, he just wanted to be nice and make a little fun. Women, however, are highly sensitive to fun that comes at their expense.
Therefore: make her aware of "I am too fat!" please a charming compliment! To do this, it is a good idea to think a little in advance so that you are prepared in the moment of shock.
6. "Do you love me?"
That you are crazy about her, she knows of course. And you realize that she knows it. So why all this chatter and unnecessary questions?? Perhaps because she is about to ask you for a favor that might be a little more expensive.
Alternatively "How much do you love me?" mean: "Something happened to me today that you won’t like." If your car is now a scratch richer, please take a deep breath and then exhale again before answering.
As a third and last harmless possibility, she wants to be met with a "Do you love me?" Not only theoretically know if you love her, but have your affection shown, z.B. by a kiss, a tender look, flowers or other small attentions.
Sometimes all three together. So the question of whether you love your loved one is more of a request that is: "Show me how much you love me! And NOW!"
7. "Do what you want!" or "Is your decision!"
Attention no Carte blanche! Also no Invitation for creative space!
It is rather translated: "I have clearly expressed my point of view to you. You know what to do!? Namely, to do it the way I said I would."
If you do something different now, you have lost. If you decide as your sweetheart said, you have also lost, because then from now on she is the boss…
Tip: Sit down again and discuss all the pros and cons before you really make a decision. Keep in mind, you don’t always have to agree, it is important that the exchange of opinions is respectful and mutually appreciative. Take the other person’s perspective on this as well. Two heads usually find better solutions than one.
8. "Let’s stay friends!"
If the friendship is too important to risk for a relationship, you probably belong to the "big brother" or "teddy" type for this woman. This is probably the most bitter sentence a man can hear in his life, because teddies you cuddle, but sexy they are not particularly. Most women mean this sentence in a nice way, but a rejection is a rejection, no matter how nice it is formulated. Only one thing is true here: other mothers have pretty daughters too.
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9. "I am not irritable!"
With this sentence, a woman is either saying that she is premenstrually challenged, or that she is under tremendous stress elsewhere. Any further questions or any sly hints that she is irritated could now mean that a thunderstorm is about to hail down on you.
Tip: Every woman is different; while one needs rest, another likes to be taken lovingly in the arm. In both cases, a loving question like helps: "Honey, I’d like to do something nice for you. Is there something that would do you good right now?"
You know that deep gasp, that sigh? How should a man interpret this.
In addition, a sigh can mean a lot, because the tone determines the music. Depending on the emphasis, a sigh can mean:
- Why didn’t I notice this earlier!?
- Couldn’t you just say so?
- What have I done to deserve this?
- This can’t be true!
- Oh, am I k.o.
Tip: To understand what a woman means by a sigh, you have to be very fit in the foreign language "woman" already. Sometimes even women have their difficulties in correctly interpreting a sigh from other women. Still, it’s critical to ignore a sigh, because secretly, woman is hoping you’ll ask empathetically: "Darling, what’s the matter? Is there anything I can do for you!?"
11. "I am not jealous."
Of course she is jealous – and how! Continuing to flirt with the nice colleague now or going out for an after-work beer could now have serious consequences. Even if your beloved would rather bite off her tongue than admit that she is jealous; for you this translates to: Red alert, jealousy attack at hand!
Tip: Even though jealousy can be very limiting, it still shows that your loved one cares about you. She does not want to lose you. Dealing with jealousy is always a balancing act between "flattering" and "annoying". Since each person feels jealousy differently, as well as evaluates, only one thing helps: rarely do mere words work with jealousy, but here actions count. Show your loved one that she has nothing to worry about!
12. "I’m cold!"
Can also be replaced with "I am hungry/thirsty." or "I have a headache/stomachache" etc.
All of these phrases have one thing in common: this is not a simple statement! If you are inclined to respond to one of these female exclamations: "Put some clothes on," "Eat something," "Drink something." or "Take a pill", you should stop for a moment and think again. A woman, as mentioned earlier, is rarely concerned with just the information, but with the reaction. Here’s someone shouting: "Show me that you love me!"
And what better way to do that than to offer her your jacket or blanket when it’s cold, or close the window. Asking her what she would like when she is hungry or thirsty. Or to massage her feet if she has a headache or a tummy ache. Only men do that – in a woman’s fantasy!? Right, that’s how women imagine their Prince Charming – that’s why it’s a DreamMan.
13. "Would you like to have children someday?"
Your bonding ability is tested here. Woman could also ask instead: "Are you ready for a serious relationship?" Stay honest! If it is too early for you to think about children, or if you possibly don’t want any, then say so, but please say it charmingly. Here it is also advisable to emphasize once again that your feelings towards your beloved are sincere and independent of common children.
14. "The garbage should be taken down again."
Popular also in variations, like "Oh leave it, I’ll do it."
This is a very friendly hint that you should be a little more involved. It may seem insignificant to you, but you can be sure that your sweetheart will write it down in her "secret book" if you ignore this sentence.
There will then be a note that goes something like this: "You lazy dog, it was just this little favor I asked of you. And you seem obviously incapable of helping out a bit. Believe me, my dear, we will still discuss this – when the sports show is on or something else is more important to you than me. Then I will start an argument in which I will list all your offenses!"
Tip: Albeit subtle "I got this…" in combination with a slightly irritated undertone you should take seriously! Get more involved or ask where you can help!
15. Yes – No – Maybe
Sometimes women say "Yes", when she "No" mean and vice versa. A "Maybe" you should always see in the concrete context, but usually it means a polite "No". This can occasionally lead to confusion. In order to avoid possible misunderstandings, if in doubt, ask again or. a "No." respect in any case.
One thing is for sure: All information is without guarantee. Because they vary greatly, not only from woman to woman, but also depending on the situation, emphasis and female mood.
Sincerely yours, Ulrike Fuchs
Couples counselor and alternative practitioner for psychotherapy