A truism in psychology states, "Men provide the reasons for a breakup, women accomplish it."! A look at recent statistics confirms this. Women are three times more likely to separate from their partner than vice versa men. Men often tend to overlook the warning signs of their girlfriend and usually realize their mistakes only after the girlfriend or wife has packed her things and ended the relationship. But even if SHE has broken up, hops and malt are not yet lost, if not just extreme injuries or a complete loss of confidence have preceded. With the right strategy, a man can win back his ex-girlfriend.
No whining, no begging and especially no importunities
Avoid at all costs begging your ex girlfriend, for the sake of the relationship, to give you another chance. Do not whine about your mental state in the presence of your ex. Do not call her all the time and do not "accidentally" hold each other where your ex is to be found according to experience. Also refrain from acts of revenge and blackmail and do not badmouth your ex in front of other people. All these things either put unwanted pressure on your ex or create pity, contempt and at worst even hatred against your person. In any case, SHE will distance herself from you even more by such behaviors.
Cut off contact for the time being
It is often very difficult to break off contact with your ex after a breakup if you are still attached to her and would like to have her back as soon as possible. Often the subliminal fear of losing the ex for good – maybe to another man – plays a driving role in this process. But you have nothing more to lose. This is also an advantage, because you can only win from now on. You cannot possess other people anyway. If you break off contact of your own accord, you create valuable space for both of you. The after-effects of any arguments may first subside and your relationship with your ex may relax a little for a while.
In the course of a breakup, the partner who wanted the breakup always experiences a period of doubt regarding the correctness of his or her decision. This will not be different with your ex. When you disappear from her focus (for the time being), you crank up her doubts, because she can no longer look at you and see the rightness of her decision confirmed. In addition, from a distance, the view of the former partner often changes in a positive way. Therefore, prevent contact with your ex for the time being, as far as possible. How long this will be necessary, you will realize later on. If this is not always possible for certain reasons, be friendly and neutral to your ex-girlfriend and limit the contacts to the most necessary.
Take care of yourself first
If you are the abandoned part, you are probably dealing with a lot of heartbreak right now. Nevertheless, try not to completely surrender to suffering, but live your life again. This is very important, as you should soon create a certain impression with your ex. How about a new hairstyle? Are there things you neglected within your former relationship? If so, do this. If at all possible, do everything that brings you joy and is good for your self-esteem. Your own awareness and attitude towards yourself, are important key aspects. Not only in your plan to win back your ex-girlfriend, but generally for your personality development. Show your positive changes not only outwardly, but live according to the motto: "Ok, it’s a pity that SHE is gone, but I will also be happy and content alone!" From now on, place increased value on your interests, desires and goals and realize them as far as it is at all possible for you.
The ex-girlfriend back – countdown
You may be wondering why we so strongly recommend here that you work on yourself first and foremost. Well, this is quite simple: there is no reason for your ex girlfriend to return to you if nothing changes from her point of view. Of course, this does not mean that you should change your character or bend in any way. Working on yourself means that you develop personally, appreciate yourself and are perfectly capable of going your own way even without your ex. Remember: If you love yourself, you will also be loved by others! If you know what you want and consistently pursue your goals, you will look attractive and sexy – of course, also to the ex! It is better to be you than someone else. The lynchpin of your success is that you need to impress your ex in a convincing way. Yes, you have to conquer her anew so that she can fall in love with you again!
If you have thought for a while about what you have written so far and have come to the conclusion that this is not only the right strategy, but also a good thing for you, you will gain a completely new, positive charisma.
If you have taken the previous tips to heart and feel really good about yourself, it is time to slowly reestablish contact. Ideally, SHE will call, which she has probably already tried to do anyway, since she has already almost burst during the no-contact period imposed on her because of her curiosity. If she doesn’t call, cleverly force a short meeting on neutral ground under some pretext, for example in a coffee shop. At the meeting, you must never give the impression that you are running after her or mourning her – even if it may still be the case. Signal self-confidence and satisfaction at this first meeting (However, you should really have gained this in the past weeks, otherwise you are only pretending and do not really appear authentic). Be charming and humorous and give your ex a small compliment. However, keep this meeting short and emphasize that you still have something important to do and therefore do not have so much time for HER today. Tell her that it would make you happy to meet her again, though. Your ex-girlfriend will certainly call you for this reason alone.
The whole point of this first reunion is that your ex senses that a lot has changed for the better with you during the breakup and that you have literally perked up. This irritates HER immensely, because she would have expected the opposite. She may now have to deal with thousands of questions and strong doubts about herself. And she will most likely suddenly find you interesting and attractive again.
Let some time pass quietly until a renewed reunion. Quietly stall her a bit on the phone. You decide now if you are still interested in her at all! Always be aware: If you could conquer your ex once, you can get many other women as well.
If things have gone well up to the first reunion and you have surprised your ex, you can put your feelers out a little further on subsequent dates. Chances are very good that you will win over your ex-girlfriend again (if it hasn’t already happened anyway). But do not rush.
Do not forget the old problems
Finally, an important note: the conflicts that led to the breakup are very likely still unresolved and not out of the world. Even if you were able to successfully recapture your ex, the old problems still stand between the two of you. You absolutely have to find a solution together for the reasons of separation. If necessary, with the help of professional couple therapists. Otherwise you run a great risk of repeating your old relationship patterns from the first act, which could inevitably lead to a final breakup.