These 12 characteristics distinguish many extremely likeable people
TeeejayyWe all know them. Those people with that certain something – who captivate us and are likeable from the start. you are the lucky, blessed few. Many think this is because of their good looks or extraordinary talents.
But it is also convenient to say: nothing can be done about it anyway. Travis Bradberry, the co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0" does not allow that. He has summarized twelve important characteristics that make people seem extremely likeable.
Scientific studies also suggest that we can influence whether we come across as likable.
In a University of California study, subjects had to rate 500 traits in terms of likability. The top 10 adjectives mentioned had nothing to do with intelligence, attractiveness or sociability, but with honesty, transparency and understanding. They describe people with high emotional intelligence
Here are twelve behaviors of likeable people:
1. Show interest
The biggest mistake people make when listening is focusing on what they want to say next. They think about it so much that they lose the thread and stop listening.
The easiest way to avoid this is to ask questions. You should respond to the other person. Everyone loves to be listened to. Asking interested and open questions not only shows your counterpart that you are listening. Those who ask questions show interest.
You will be surprised how much respect and appreciation you will get by asking questions.
2. Smartphones stay in your pocket
Potstock/ShutterstockNothing hurts a conversation more than answering a WhatsApp message or taking a quick glance at your phone. This is disrespectful and conveys disinterest.
When you’re conversing, focus on that conversation. You’ll find that the conversation will be more interesting and effective if you fully engage yourself.
3. Honesty is a must
Sincerity and honesty are core competencies of likeable people. No one likes deceitful or fake people. It’s hard to like someone if we don’t know how someone feels and thinks.
Likeable people know who they are and what they want. Have enough self-confidence to state your opinion openly and not constantly pander to others. If you always react the way others want you to, you will quickly become boring.
4. Be open to new things
If you want to be likeable, you should be open to new thoughts and ideas. Who likes to talk to a stubborn person who has already formed his opinion before the conversation starts?
Being able to accept other opinions is especially important at work. This does not mean that you should run after others. It is a matter of putting aside your own prejudices and putting yourself in the place of others.
5. Do not stand in the limelight
Most people have an aversion to people who crave attention. To make a positive impression, it is enough to be friendly and considerate.
At the risk of sounding a bit cliche, thank others, feel free to do so publicly. If you have just finished a big project, thank everyone who helped.
6. Staying true to your opinion
People who are unpredictable come across as unlikable. Don’t keep changing your mind, but stay true to yourself. Even if you are not doing so well: Treat others as kindly as you always have. It is important for your fellow men to estimate how you will react when they ask you a question or make a suggestion.
7. Positive body language
Be aware of your body language: posture, facial expression and the way you speak. Actively influence them and learn to use them for a positive aura. You become more satisfied.
During the conversation, lean slightly in the direction of your counterpart, speak in a positive tone of voice, and look others in the eye. Avoid dismissive gestures like crossed arms.
8. A strong first impression
As studies have shown, people decide whether they like someone or are more likely to dislike them in the first seven seconds. The rest of the time they are looking for validation of that opinion.
Sounds frightening at first, but it doesn’t have to be. You can use this to your advantage. The first impression is closely linked to your body language. A firm handshake, a friendly smile, and an open and upright posture will help you make a positive first impression.
9. Address people by their name
The name is an important part of the personality. It feels good to be addressed by name. When you meet someone new, don’t be afraid to ask for their name a second time.
10. The smile
If you smile, you seem likeable, that’s no secret. It is quite natural that we mirror the body language of our counterpart. Smile during the next conversation and your counterpart will return it.
11. Know how to touch others
Touching someone during a conversation releases oxytocin. The neurotransmitter is responsible for trust and a number of other positive feelings. A little touch on the shoulder, a hug, that’s all it takes.
Attention: not everyone wants to be touched and certainly not at every point. In times of Corona with distance and hygiene rules, this is even more true. Be gentle.
12. Passion and fun
Passionate people are attractive. One problem can be that you are completely consumed by your passion. Those who are likeable manage this tightrope walk. At work, such people are serious and focused, but still friendly and helpful.
Small talk is reduced to a minimum. However, this does not exclude them, they make it more effective. Instead of talking about rumors, they perceive the other person as a personality and talk about deeper issues. You remember what you said – no matter if the last conversation was two days or weeks ago. This shows the person you’re talking to that you’re just as important as your work.
The challenge
Likeable people are unique, stand by what they say and draw us in without effort. You can socialize easily and create harmony.
It won’t be easy to implement all the points at once. It is also not necessary. But start simple.
This post previously appeared on Business Insider in 2018. We have reviewed and updated it