04 Reasons why schalke cannot become champion

1:1 against Darmstadt. For some Schalke players a hard setback to the championship title that was actually already planned after the first match day. So the old wounds break open again. Why, after the days of the Schalker Kreisel, it was actually only enough to win the championship once more?
Spontaneously numerous key words fall directly: Bad luck. Inability. Stupidity. Scandals. Theater. Mismanagement. Delusions of grandeur. Fraud.
Or conspiracy? Only who? The Illuminati? Templar? Fiepsstimmige dentists from the planet Merx? No. Schalke news.de as an expert journal for soccer X-files has, after intensive research, found the real reasons and scapegoats for why FC Schalke 04 has been waiting for its eighth title since 1958.

01 The Gelsenkirchen city planning office

Not the way is the goal, but what is after the goal? Of course, all of Gelsenkirchen would be a single confused place of excess, from which even Harald Juhnke, Keith Richards or the founders of Studio 54 would turn away in shock.
Nevertheless, the TuV of the soccer god will probably have clearly on his checklist the point: "Central place for enough people with stage or balcony".
And that’s where the problem lies, which is why Schalke won’t get the title plaque. In the meantime the city of Gelsenkirchen has seen it and works diligently around the Neumarkt. Sufficient pasture for the title-brutal Schalker is foreseeable. The only question is whether the work will be completed by 14. May 2016 can be completed.

02 The Gunter effect

Quality, understanding of the game, technique, running strength, tackling rates, heading, switching behavior, passing efficiency, mentality, medical records – it’s all well and good what Schalke managers and scouts have been looking for. Or regularly not. One important aspect on the way to the title was completely disregarded: Gunter!
This is what ails the Schalker squad structure. In the 1958 German championship final, three Gunters were on the pitch in royal blue: Gunter Brocker, Gunter Karnhof and Gunter Siebert. The more Gunter, the more success. But it must be at least three Gunters for Schalke to win the title.
Half-heartedly and only moderately successful, Schalke tried to copy the Gunter effect in the 90s. Gunter Guttler and Gunter Schlipper. But a Gunter Eichberg in the blue salon and a Gunter Netzer on the phone instead of Gunters on the lawn can not work. So the Gladbachers and Erwin don’t need to worry about a foal mascot suddenly going missing.
Possible short-term candidates accordingly for transfers:

  • Christian Gunter
  • Koray Gunter
  • Ilkay Gundogan (also counts, since his last name is Turkish)

Otherwise, Schalke parents should increasingly resort to the first name Gunter when naming their boys.

03 The curse of the columnist

The Boston Red Sox had the curse of the Bambino, the Chicago Cubs still suffer from the curse of the Billy Goat today. And with them the last title is from 1908.
Yes. I confess now. Probably I am to blame. It already started unhappily. Even the year of birth is marked by the first Bundesliga relegation. 2001 against Unterhaching not been in the ancestral block. Then the devastating away record in 2007: Been to Leverkusen, Bochum and Dortmund – zero points.
Even today, colleagues threaten to chain me to a tree in Gelsenkirchen’s city forest by accident, should Schalke ever find itself in a similar starting position again with important away games coming up. Hang him higher, the wizard. Or perhaps rather tips to fight the curse?

04 SV St. Ingbert

And here we have the real culprit. The root of all "You’ll never be German champions" chants, the Godfather of our heartbreak: SV St. Ingbert. Like? Never heard of this little soccer club from Saarland? This seems to be exactly the scam to avoid drawing the ire of all pranksters. The SV St. Ingbert is the key to the German championship or just the failure to do so.
After the 2. After World War II, the glorious FC Schalke 04 was always German champion when SV St. Ingbert was represented in the highest division in each case. Who can solve now football-historically and mathematically this formula, the one notices: Dat was then only once!
Correct! Because SV St. Ingbert was promoted to the Oberliga Sudwest in 1957, then relegated again in 1958 and never came back up again. Our hope must therefore rest on the fact that the SV St. Ingbert makes the jump to the Bundesliga as quickly as possible. No matter how. Verbandsliga is reached after all already again.
Mmmh…and does Red Ox really find the city of Leipzig so beautiful?

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