What do others think about me? Am I actually attractive? Everyone has probably asked themselves whether they are actually good looking and how others perceive them. What do people think about you, whom you meet on the street? What is the first impression you make on others??
One’s own assessment of this is not very reliable. How you judge yourself is highly subjective and depends on your mood, for example: Some days you’re in tune with yourself, feel good about yourself, and radiate that out. On other days, however, people prefer to steer clear of the mirror and feel unattractive – even though nothing has changed objectively. Even your own parents don’t count when it comes to this question: They love their children and find them beautiful, no matter what they look like. (Read also: Mental Health Day: How to use the time off properly)
There are ways to judge your own attractiveness
So how do you find out about your own attractiveness?? Of course, you could ask other people about this. But hardly anyone wants to take this step – besides, you can’t rely on others telling you the truth to your face at this point. (Also interesting: If you have these 9 qualities, you are ready for a leadership position)
But there is a way to judge your own attractiveness – at least that’s what users of the online network Reddit say. Science also offers a helpful technique to judge its own appearance.
Discussion about attractiveness on the Internet and among scientists
The discussion on Reddit stems from an article in which a woman asked how she can determine if she is actually attractive and if there are objective criteria to judge one’s appearance. She writes that she is more often told that she is attractive – but she herself has doubts whether that is actually true.
In fact, science has already looked at this question, too: Behavioral scientists Nicholas Epley of the University of Chicago and Tal Eyal of Ben Gurion University published a study on attractiveness research in 2010. They claim that there is a way to learn how others judge one’s attractiveness. (Read also: Nice am Stil: Here you can listen to all episodes of the GQ Podcast)
Who sees himself with a certain distance, comes closer to the answer
The trick is to create some distance between them. We know ourselves far too well to be able to really judge ourselves objectively. The solution is to detach yourself from details like your nose or eyes and perceive yourself as a whole person the way people perceive you when they see you for the first time. (Also: Expert tips: How mindfulness training works)
How does it work now? Approximately so: For their study, the researchers had University of Chicago students pose for a photo. They were then asked to rate how other people would rate their attractiveness on a scale of one to nine.
see ourselves as someone else would perceive us
The procedure in the test groups was different: One group was told that their picture would be evaluated on the same day. The second group was told that their photo would not be assessed until several months later.
This changed the way the participants looked at their photo. The first group paid more attention to specific details. The participants from the second group, on the other hand, paid more attention to general appearance. In fact, their evaluation was much closer to the grade others gave them than was the case with the first group. So they were more likely to succeed in seeing themselves in the same way a stranger would. (Also worth reading: Meditation: Strengthen the whole body in just 10 minutes)
Internet users name other aspects that indicate attractiveness
Even this mental technique is subjective, of course, but at least it gives a clue. Users on Reddit also discussed at length signs that reveal that the other person thinks you are attractive. Eye contact seems to be an important factor: According to Reddit users, if someone makes eye contact when you meet them on the street, there’s a good chance you’re attractive. If someone stares at you, this tends to be a good sign – unless you have ketchup smeared on your face or clothes.
However, you may not even notice the stares: If a beautiful person is constantly looked at by others, he may not even notice it anymore because he thinks it’s normal. (Also interesting: Avoid stress: With these tips from the stress expert klappt's)
These signs reveal that others find you attractive
Reddit users also rate it as a sign of attractiveness when strangers smile at you or run their fingers through your hair when you meet them. A sign of good looks is also when others become nervous during an encounter, pay special attention to you when you speak or try to make the other person laugh. (Also interesting: What women really want)
It is also seen as positive on Reddit when others avoid sitting or standing nearby. The users thereby assume that beautiful people make others nervous. However, it can mean two things when other people avoid contact in public – either someone is very attractive or you are anything but good looking.
According to Reddit, statistically most people will probably always meet someone who finds them attractive, even they don’t look like a model. Actually, you can stop worrying about appearance – but if you want to know if you are good looking, you should look at yourself with distance and pay attention to the described signs. (Read also: Tinder: What women and men really want there)