What makes children happy

Know what my vision is?
That all children are (or become) healthy, empathetic, responsible and, above all, happy people who To go their own way full of self-confidence and self-assurance and not to be pushed or guided by outside forces.

That they know what makes them strong, they their Know, live and be allowed to fully develop their potentials.

What Mammoth task, that we as parents are confronted with, knowing full well that at the time of "becoming parents" we have not the faintest idea what to expect.

Between sleepless nights, mountains of laundry, professional demands and first serious relationship conflicts, all of which raise the questions:

  • Who are we as a couple?
  • How do we want to be as parents?
  • What do we want our children to "take with them"?
  • So how do we "manage" to keep our eyes on our goals for our child?
  • What do we mean by "parenting", each to their own?

And with that comes the big question:
How do we manage our child is happy and it worries about whether also another person is happy or even recognize how his behavior, opinion, doing or not doing affects the other person?

What makes children happy and a happy person??

What is happiness?

I almost couldn’t have found harder questions for a blog article…
For many, happiness is a special beautiful experience, that often unpredictable appearance and surround us with warmth.
When we feel happiness, we are happy, cheerful, joyful – in other words, all those moments in which, on a purely physical level, we release a wide variety of hormones that put us in this joyful state (from a feeling of well-being to ‘flow’ or even ‘high’).

With happiness we associate something positive. Something we would like to do or experience repeatedly, in order to dive again and again into this state of perfect (contentment) being, from a purely neurobiological point of view.

Happy moments can strengthen us in the long term. These are the moments that we (want to) store in the brain as an experience to remember over and over again.

Yes, I would love to conserve these moments. Put her in a jar and keep her forever so that when times are tough, I can pull her out.
This is exactly why I try to write them down every day – my moments of happiness…

What children need to be happy

Here’s what many moms and dads have told me about what makes their kids happy.

The result: not much.
But what they need is significant. But first one after the other.

1. Happy children need relationships

Children can really develop, discover and feel when they feel safe.

When they are in a sensitive, authentic, loving and respectful relationships to be able to live.I have already told you about it here.

Children want with to others experience adventures.
Together with their parents or friends Spend time, play, watch their favorite show.

At the same time they also need mixed-age groups to grow.
Children need older children to be able to "learn" from and with them in a playful way, to see in them Be able to grow themselves – emotionally, physically, socially, linguistically. That what "the big kids" do becomes attainable for them as well.
They need "younger" children to encourage the little ones to be empathetic, to practice social interaction, and to develop self-confidence for themselves in the process.
Children need this opportunity to be able to switch in different roles, to show themselves sometimes "big and strong", sometimes "small and weak".

2. Happy children need freedom and self-efficacy

Children become happy and content when they are given the space to be to be able to develop freely. When she self-effective can be. When they are not restricted – in what they do, by rules or artificial boundaries – but exactly when they can live their thoughts, fantasies and ideas.

For me personally, this is an aspect that is so clear to us on the one hand, and yet so distant:

Children always live in the now with all their primal confidence. They are with all their senses here and create from what is, their world.

They take the stick to draw with, to shoot at something or as a prop.

They discover the smallest creatures and build a home for them.

They are in the NOW full of fatansie, discovering what there is to discover in their environment, exercising, experiencing themselves and their environment

Using what they have to play – and they love to do it with the elements Fire, earth, air and water, That have a crazy fascination on their own.

3. Happy kids have happy parents

An aspect we often forget:
If I want my child to be happy and become a happy adult, I need to model that for my child.

I myself must be happy!

And that’s something we simply forget in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. We suddenly don’t notice all the good things that surround us because we are surrounded by negative news and focus exclusively on negative things (I’ll tell you more about that here).

Therefore, always and always listen to them:

  • So what makes you happy?
  • How do you act in everyday life, what does your child see, what mood does he/she perceive (subconsciously)?
  • Do you only see "everything negative" right now or can you, z.B. Focusing your gaze on the positive with specific exercises?

Meditation, journaling, gratitude, mindfulness and also ego affirmations are good ways to help you get back on track.

Affirmations that help me do this I have compiled for you. Look right in.

100 things that make happy

And now, what exactly makes children happy? Here I have listed the 100 things for you that the moms and dads in my Facebook group have shared with me.

And if you look closely – it’s always about the above: Relationship, freedom, self-efficacy and immediacy (being in the now).

  1. Carrying the brother in my arms
  2. Being there when they fall asleep
  3. Cuddling
  4. Tickling
  5. Singing together
  6. Reading aloud
  7. Listening to them
  8. Trust them to do something
  9. Respecting decisions
  10. being in nature
  11. Water and two bowls on the balcony
  12. Playing catch, running
  13. Friends
  14. Knowing that parents are there
  15. Having TIME to spend with each other
  16. "I love you"
  17. Being there for each other
  18. Playing in the garden
  19. Being able to tell about the adventures they have had
  20. Play with the child
  21. Freedom
  22. Justice
  23. Playing soccer with dad
  24. Camping
  25. Being outside
  26. Animals
  27. Laughing together
  28. Discovering the world
  29. surprises
  30. To be in the forest
  31. Tinkering and building together
  32. collecting bugs
  33. "Inner hug" in the morning
  34. Listening to music and
  35. dancing (to it)
  36. Going out, riding a bike (always with an escort)
  37. Playing in the sandbox with bare feet
  38. Watching reactions (when mom gets splashed with water)
  39. Jumping into the pool
  40. Spinning rings and bowls and watching them move around
  41. Catching soap bubbles
  42. Sliding
  43. Swinging
  44. Climbing
  45. Meeting people
  46. Walks without limit
  47. Playing with plasticine, finger painting, being able to develop creativity
  48. Respecting the way they are
  49. Getting help ("at almost 4 I feed them")
  50. Sitting around naked after shower
  51. Being allowed to be a child
  52. Wild bobby car races with dad
  53. Ice cream in the cone
  54. Driving the lawn mower
  55. Dancing in the rain
  56. Driving a bulldog
  57. Work
  58. Waking up between mom, dad and brother
  59. Jumping in puddles
  60. Climbing on tree trunks
  61. Tiger play and catch
  62. Dancing and singing
  63. Playing finger games
  64. Reading aloud
  65. Listening to an audio book
  66. Balancing
  67. Jumping naked in bed and running around
  68. Playing fireman
  69. Swings
  70. Throwing stones into the water
  71. Collecting sticks and sticks
  72. Looking for and watching butterflies and birds
  73. Waving to the dog across the street from the window
  74. Building caves
  75. Lego play
  76. Getting pancakes cut into a shape (or cutting them out yourself)
  77. "Tataaa" or smacking after breastfeeding
  78. Playing Playmobil
  79. Laughing
  80. Being able to run alone
  81. Dressing oneself
  82. Accompany when falling asleep
  83. Catching grasshoppers
  84. Cuddling pets
  85. "Saying "yes
  86. Participating in everyday life
  87. Barbecue with friends
  88. Splashing in the water
  89. Watering flowers
  90. Watching animals
  91. Dressing up, putting on makeup, jumping into roles
  92. Hammering and drilling with daddy’s hand tools
  93. Sleeping out
  94. Spell
  95. Living in fantasy
  96. Riding a bike
  97. Visiting the best friend
  98. Harvesting and picking flowers, fruits and vegetables (even still unripe)
  99. Frolicking and fighting with daddy
  100. Watching the favorite series together with mom or dad


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