Know what my vision is?
That all children are (or become) healthy, empathetic, responsible and, above all, happy people who To go their own way full of self-confidence and self-assurance and not to be pushed or guided by outside forces.
That they know what makes them strong, they their Know, live and be allowed to fully develop their potentials.
What Mammoth task, that we as parents are confronted with, knowing full well that at the time of "becoming parents" we have not the faintest idea what to expect.
Between sleepless nights, mountains of laundry, professional demands and first serious relationship conflicts, all of which raise the questions:
- Who are we as a couple?
- How do we want to be as parents?
- What do we want our children to "take with them"?
- So how do we "manage" to keep our eyes on our goals for our child?
- What do we mean by "parenting", each to their own?
And with that comes the big question:
How do we manage our child is happy and it worries about whether also another person is happy or even recognize how his behavior, opinion, doing or not doing affects the other person?
What makes children happy and a happy person??
What is happiness?
I almost couldn’t have found harder questions for a blog article…
For many, happiness is a special beautiful experience, that often unpredictable appearance and surround us with warmth.
When we feel happiness, we are happy, cheerful, joyful – in other words, all those moments in which, on a purely physical level, we release a wide variety of hormones that put us in this joyful state (from a feeling of well-being to ‘flow’ or even ‘high’).
With happiness we associate something positive. Something we would like to do or experience repeatedly, in order to dive again and again into this state of perfect (contentment) being, from a purely neurobiological point of view.
Happy moments can strengthen us in the long term. These are the moments that we (want to) store in the brain as an experience to remember over and over again.
Yes, I would love to conserve these moments. Put her in a jar and keep her forever so that when times are tough, I can pull her out.
This is exactly why I try to write them down every day – my moments of happiness…
What children need to be happy
Here’s what many moms and dads have told me about what makes their kids happy.
The result: not much.
But what they need is significant. But first one after the other.
1. Happy children need relationships
Children can really develop, discover and feel when they feel safe.
When they are in a sensitive, authentic, loving and respectful relationships to be able to live.I have already told you about it here.
Children want with to others experience adventures.
Together with their parents or friends Spend time, play, watch their favorite show.
At the same time they also need mixed-age groups to grow.
Children need older children to be able to "learn" from and with them in a playful way, to see in them Be able to grow themselves – emotionally, physically, socially, linguistically. That what "the big kids" do becomes attainable for them as well.
They need "younger" children to encourage the little ones to be empathetic, to practice social interaction, and to develop self-confidence for themselves in the process.
Children need this opportunity to be able to switch in different roles, to show themselves sometimes "big and strong", sometimes "small and weak".
2. Happy children need freedom and self-efficacy
Children become happy and content when they are given the space to be to be able to develop freely. When she self-effective can be. When they are not restricted – in what they do, by rules or artificial boundaries – but exactly when they can live their thoughts, fantasies and ideas.
For me personally, this is an aspect that is so clear to us on the one hand, and yet so distant:
Children always live in the now with all their primal confidence. They are with all their senses here and create from what is, their world.
They take the stick to draw with, to shoot at something or as a prop.
They discover the smallest creatures and build a home for them.
They are in the NOW full of fatansie, discovering what there is to discover in their environment, exercising, experiencing themselves and their environment
Using what they have to play – and they love to do it with the elements Fire, earth, air and water, That have a crazy fascination on their own.
3. Happy kids have happy parents
An aspect we often forget:
If I want my child to be happy and become a happy adult, I need to model that for my child.
I myself must be happy!
And that’s something we simply forget in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. We suddenly don’t notice all the good things that surround us because we are surrounded by negative news and focus exclusively on negative things (I’ll tell you more about that here).
Therefore, always and always listen to them:
- So what makes you happy?
- How do you act in everyday life, what does your child see, what mood does he/she perceive (subconsciously)?
- Do you only see "everything negative" right now or can you, z.B. Focusing your gaze on the positive with specific exercises?
Meditation, journaling, gratitude, mindfulness and also ego affirmations are good ways to help you get back on track.
Affirmations that help me do this I have compiled for you. Look right in.
100 things that make happy
And now, what exactly makes children happy? Here I have listed the 100 things for you that the moms and dads in my Facebook group have shared with me.
And if you look closely – it’s always about the above: Relationship, freedom, self-efficacy and immediacy (being in the now).
- Carrying the brother in my arms
- Being there when they fall asleep
- Singing together
- Reading aloud
- Listening to them
- Trust them to do something
- Respecting decisions
- being in nature
- Water and two bowls on the balcony
- Playing catch, running
- Knowing that parents are there
- Having TIME to spend with each other
- "I love you"
- Being there for each other
- Playing in the garden
- Being able to tell about the adventures they have had
- Play with the child
- Playing soccer with dad
- Being outside
- Laughing together
- Discovering the world
- To be in the forest
- Tinkering and building together
- collecting bugs
- "Inner hug" in the morning
- Listening to music and
- dancing (to it)
- Going out, riding a bike (always with an escort)
- Playing in the sandbox with bare feet
- Watching reactions (when mom gets splashed with water)
- Jumping into the pool
- Spinning rings and bowls and watching them move around
- Catching soap bubbles
- Meeting people
- Walks without limit
- Playing with plasticine, finger painting, being able to develop creativity
- Respecting the way they are
- Getting help ("at almost 4 I feed them")
- Sitting around naked after shower
- Being allowed to be a child
- Wild bobby car races with dad
- Ice cream in the cone
- Driving the lawn mower
- Dancing in the rain
- Driving a bulldog
- Waking up between mom, dad and brother
- Jumping in puddles
- Climbing on tree trunks
- Tiger play and catch
- Dancing and singing
- Playing finger games
- Reading aloud
- Listening to an audio book
- Jumping naked in bed and running around
- Playing fireman
- Throwing stones into the water
- Collecting sticks and sticks
- Looking for and watching butterflies and birds
- Waving to the dog across the street from the window
- Building caves
- Lego play
- Getting pancakes cut into a shape (or cutting them out yourself)
- "Tataaa" or smacking after breastfeeding
- Playing Playmobil
- Being able to run alone
- Dressing oneself
- Accompany when falling asleep
- Catching grasshoppers
- Cuddling pets
- "Saying "yes
- Participating in everyday life
- Barbecue with friends
- Splashing in the water
- Watering flowers
- Watching animals
- Dressing up, putting on makeup, jumping into roles
- Hammering and drilling with daddy’s hand tools
- Sleeping out
- Living in fantasy
- Riding a bike
- Visiting the best friend
- Harvesting and picking flowers, fruits and vegetables (even still unripe)
- Frolicking and fighting with daddy
- Watching the favorite series together with mom or dad
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