You were left by your ex-girlfriend and now you want to win her back?
It hurts so much: One minute you were happily in love and the next minute your heart is broken. You are devastated and can only think one clear thought: You absolutely have to win your girlfriend back, because you can’t and don’t want to live without her. I want to help you on this way and show you what you have to do to win your ex-girlfriend back.
Table of Contents
- The first step: the contact ban
- What you should do during the period of non-contact
- Why she broke up with you
- After the contact break
- What happens after the first date?
- Summary: Winning back your ex-girlfriend
The first step: the contact ban
If you really want to win her back, you must immediately stop chasing her and feeling sorry for yourself. If you don’t do it right away, you will lose your chance for a love comeback forever. If you beg and beg and don’t let go of her, you look needy and unattractive. She will see you as a dependent and clingy man who can’t live alone and take care of himself. She doesn’t think you are the attractive and strong man you actually are.
Win Ex-Girlfriend Back: Stick to my tips!
In order to win back your ex-girlfriend, the first thing you need to do is to set up a no-contact period. This one is hugely important for you and your girlfriend, because it allows each of you to move on from the relationship and start a new personal beginning, without the other for now. I will explain you how to initiate the contact ban correctly in the corresponding article. The right time to do this is right after the breakup. After the end of the relationship you want to act immediately, but this is a serious mistake. You are still too upset and the wounds are too fresh. After the breakup you are psychologically very badly affected and not in a position to judge the situation rationally. You need the time to process it. You can find help on this in my article "Overcoming heartbreak".
You might think that the no-contact policy will harm you and your girlfriend might forget about you, but I can reassure you: This is definitely not the case. Rather, the contact break gives you a great chance to. You gain time and you can use it effectively. And your ex-girlfriend gets the chance to miss you without you actively doing anything about it. She will realize that you don’t need her and that you can be happy without her. This automatically makes you a little interesting again and she starts to wonder if the breakup was the right decision.
What you should do during the non-contact period
You have to win yourself back before you can win your ex back.
The no-contact period, as I said before, gives you time to deal with the breakup. But you also need to use it for other things. Take care of yourself. You need to get back to yourself and develop your personality to have a chance of winning back your ex-girlfriend. Meet your friends, go on vacation with them, pursue your hobbies and try out new things. And while you are doing all this, you must not think about the breakup or your ex, because otherwise you will never be able to overcome your heartbreak and thus win your ex girlfriend back. During this time you have to become an attractive, independent man again, whom women find interesting. This is of course easier said than done. Try to implement everything I describe in the in-depth articles as much as possible.
Also, use this time to figure out the following two things: Why did she break up with you? And do you really want a new relationship with her?? Many men realize after some time that they do not want to have a new relationship with their ex-girlfriend. In order to be able to form a really differentiated judgment about this question, you must have overcome your separation pain and have further developed your personality. You can find more information about the tasks of contact blocking in the article "Contact blocking phases".
Why she broke up with you
You have to find out the real reason for the breakup.
To make a renewed relationship with your ex work, you first need to understand why she broke up with you. You should learn first of all how women think and make decisions. Because there is a difference between men and women, which only a few know: While men tend to make decisions rationally, women make decisions based primarily on their feelings about what would be best. You act more emotionally. Your feeling tells you that you should break up with her.
Maybe she even told you the reasons for the breakup. But most of the time these are not the real reasons. It was not a rational but an emotional decision. You have to find out the real problems yourself. I want to help you.
You cling and are too nice:
Women want exactly the same things in a relationship as men: love and trust, harmony and understanding, fidelity and good sex. If she then breaks up with you, as a man you look for rational reasons for it. We will consider what the woman was missing. But often it is just the opposite. You have given her too much. You paid too much attention to your ex-girlfriend, were always the good boyfriend who did what she wanted, and were always super nice. That’s just too much.
You have made yourself enormously dependent. You are losing your attractiveness because the woman knows she can do whatever she wants, since you have never given her your personal boundaries will point out. But since the woman is not interested in a dependent, well-behaved man, she will break up with you sooner or later. You can learn more about this point in this article.
Women want a man who speaks his mind and stands by it, but they don’t want to have to fight you every day and argue about every little thing. They don’t want a stubborn, petulant child, but a man. He must be strong-willed and assertive so that he can take care of the family. Women know that it takes a certain maturity to assert yourself in life and be competitive. Maturity is required to be able to act in a detached and responsible way. But you did not do that.
You have shown yourself to be immature during the relationship. You were moody, fickle and overemotional. Also, you were unreliable, wasting your time playing video games and avoiding tough decisions and situations. Your ex-girlfriend felt that you were not mature enough for a relationship and broke up with you.
This concerns both the partnership and your own life. At the beginning of the relationship you still had goals you were working on. In addition, you made an effort in the relationship, dressed up for your girlfriend, took her out to dinner once, etc. But now you do not do all that anymore. You have become a second-rate man. However, women want a man who will do everything he can to improve himself in all areas of life. But that is exactly what you did not do. You have rested on what you have already achieved. That’s why she broke up with you.
This is the number 1 turn-off! If you are jealous, constantly controlling her and forbidding her contact with other men, she will feel too restricted, which can quickly lead to a breakup. Jealousy is a sign of weakness. Besides, it shows your girlfriend that you don’t trust her. And if you say that you trust her, but not the other men, you are lying to yourself. If you want to fight your jealousy, read my article "What to do against jealousy".
Write down the reasons that (could) apply to you in a list. Try to change yourself during the contact ban so that these points can no longer lead to a breakup. I have also written an article explaining on a deeper psychological level why your girlfriend left you. You should definitely read it. It will help you to really fix the problems in the core. If you do everything I describe, you have a good chance of a love comeback with your ex.
The next time you contact your ex-girlfriend, you must start to impress her with your new qualities, your new "coolness" to seduce. If you want to know what qualities women look for in a man, I recommend you to read this article. If you don’t have these qualities yet, you will know why your girlfriend didn’t perceive you as the attractive man you actually are.
After the contact ban
If you want to win your ex-girlfriend back, now is the time to get in touch with her again. Write your ex for this a short message via WhatsApp or SMS. This way you don’t pressure her and give her the possibility to reply to your message when she wants to. please do not call her. This will force her to react in a way that she may not be ready for.
A simple "Hello, I wanted to get in touch and ask how you are doing" is often sufficient as a cover letter. Many "ex back experts" advise you to write something like: "I just saw a dog". This reminds me of when we…". But this is bullshit. don’t do anything! You will only make a fool of yourself. She will think that you have not yet processed the breakup and cling to her. But you have to prove her wrong and make her new seduce. More information about "Ex cover letter I give you in this article.
In general, all communication should not be about your past relationship. It is over. You need to build an interesting and casual conversation. It should be an innocuous, fundamentally positive conversation. And at the right time you ask her for a date. You can learn more about this in the following article.
After the commitment you can plan the date. It is advisable to choose a neutral place, where you have not yet collected any common memories. Approach the meeting with the right attitude. You must not assume that you will be together again in the end. You must be aware that despite this first meeting, it will still be a long way to a new relationship. Also, the date can be a complete disappointment and it can all be over afterwards. Read more about this in the article "Meeting with your ex.
What to do after the first date?
How you proceed will depend on how the first date goes. Sure, you want to win your ex-girlfriend back, but you have to analyze after the date whether it still makes sense or not. Maybe it would be better to plunge into a new love adventure. However, if you are convinced of the rightness of your mission, you should contact her again after a few days. Again, you must try to ask for new dates quickly, but at the right time. You can’t win your ex-girlfriend back from behind your cell phone, you have to do it in the real world! I give you more information about this last step in this post.
Summary: Win back ex-girlfriend
- do nothing at first
- get over the breakup
- make yourself independent from your ex
- find out the reasons for the breakup
- become the man she will fall in love with for a second time
- get in touch again
- write with her and make a date
- Build attraction during your meetings
- seduce her a second time!
My secret tip: How to get back together quickly!
At the end of the post, I have a very special tip for you. My ex-colleague Adrian Celan has written a book which I can highly recommend to you. The best thing about the whole thing is: it is free of charge. In the book is described in only 106 pages a strategy with which you can win back your ex-girlfriend. You get:
-> A clear and well-structured plan that describes exactly what you want to do
when to do and say
-> a psychological technique to help you with a previously unknown
"Love hormone" reignite your ex’s feelings towards you again
In addition, you have the option of booking a personal consultation. This service includes a coaching session where you can talk to an expert about your individual situation via email. The best part is that you can try this service for free for 14 days. Then you will realize if it can help you or not. However, if you don’t want to do that, you can of course just get the book. Click on the button and you will be taken to the page where you can get the free book now!