Impossible love is a love that can never lead to a stable relationship. Or one that ends before it has even begun. It seems paradoxical, but this is the kind of love that causes the deepest pain. But how can we forget an impossible love?
Practical people do not get caught up in impossible love. When they see that the right conditions don’t exist to maintain a fulfilling bond, they accept it and stop themselves in time. However, it is difficult for others to give up expectations, illusions or dreams they have built around a relationship. Your feelings are stronger than the omens that the relationship will not work out.
Maybe we never forget the impossible loves. It leaves a scar precisely because it has neither peaked nor subsided. The image of the relationship has never been tarnished. But even if we do not forget everything, it is possible to process your own feelings and put them aside so that you can look ahead.
Here are seven tips to make this a reality.
"Love is like war: easy to start, but hard to end."
Henry Louis Mencken
1. Determine what makes them an impossible love
There is a huge difference between a difficult or problematic love and an impossible love. The latter is not possible.
The most typical example, which also carries the biggest problems, is unrequited love. Perhaps it would be better to say that this is what happens when one person loves the other, but the other does not feel the same. True love is always based on reciprocity.
Of course, you can try to convince someone who initially shows no interest in you to go out with you. However, it is important to understand that there is a point where it is necessary to accept that a relationship has no future.
The same is true of other impossibilities, but they often come down to the same denominator: one loves and the other does not. If the love is not mutual, it is not possible.
2. Check your fantasies about love
It often happens that the difficulties in getting rid of an impossible love come from the fantasies that have become a part of our culture. Examples are the "soul mate" and the "love of life". These stereotypes fuel the idea that there is one person who is "meant" to be our partner.
Although this is a nice idea, it is not real. Humans have the capacity to love unconditionally. If you had a relationship and you face its end, you take with you from it the experiences and wisdom it brought to you. And usually the next relationship goes better.
We can always start from scratch and all new experiences can be better than past ones. In fact, over time we learn to love more generously and with more tolerance when we are not bound by the impossible dreams we sometimes have.
3. Recognize the shadow side
Falling in love – not love – often makes us idealize people and situations. In some cases, we assign preferences or characteristics to relationships that they don’t actually have, or that they only have a piece of. To overcome these mental walls, it is important that we also look at the negative sides of a relationship.
What are the shortcomings of the person you think you love?? Is there or was there anything unsatisfactory in the relationship? Can you imagine how these flaws and mistakes would affect the relationship over the years? These are questions that you should ask yourself and try to answer in complete honesty. It is possible that your perspective will end up being more realistic.
4. Accept that it is time to forget
This is the hardest step. It has been proven that a person who wants to be in a relationship, but cannot, Exhibits reactions similar to those that addicts with withdrawal symptoms have. Emotional turmoil or even physical turmoil is sometimes hard to bear. And as for the addict it is also particularly difficult for the person in love to accept that an addiction exists. An addiction that causes great suffering and a feeling of powerlessness.
It seems easy to admit it, but it is not. Sometimes we are apt to make up stories and rationalize any excuse not to accept this. However, we then remain victims of addiction. Being able to accept this is the most important step. It will help you reset your focus and clarify what steps you should take.
5. Untie them and get rid of mementos
After accepting that it is time to leave the impossible love behind the next step, to untie the ties that remain. This means no phone calls, no attempts to get back together, distancing yourself from mutual friends, and anything else that helps us break the bond we had with this person. In particular, we should end the contacts we have with them in social networks, because these are the most insidious ones.
At the same time, it is important to get rid of souvenirs. Delete photos, throw away gifts. If you’re not ready to say goodbye to them, pack them up and move them to a place that’s hard for you to reach. When you are more resolute in your determination, smash everything. This is a way to detach from the presence of impossible love.
6. Change your routine, try something new
It’s time to start fresh. Your impossible love has probably taken a lot of time, months or even years to get over. Letting go of all that won’t be easy. Nevertheless, it will become easier for you if you decide to make a change.
There must be things you’ve always wanted to do. And for one reason or another you have put it on the back burner. Now is the time to start working through that to-do list.
Parting also means a time to motivate yourself to do new things or explore new places. Travel is always an excellent alternative. Why don’t you try? It’s also worth exploring your skills, enrolling in a class that allows you to meet new people, or trying a new hobby. Life goes on – and there are thousands of things to do.
7. Give it time
There are different kinds of love. Some of them leave such a deep scar in you that they won’t leave you, no matter how many times the tide ebbs and flows. Impossible love almost always takes root in us for a long time and calls for us to remember it. And whether we like it or not, many of us are hopeless dreamers. We just don’t accept the idea that limits exist, or that sometimes we have no other option but to admit defeat.
Forgetting impossible love is something we can never do from one day to the next. It takes determination, courage and character. It will be difficult and there will be small setbacks, but time will help you grow: when you realize that you cannot continue to nurture a love that cannot be. When you break the bond to start again. Then you’ll gradually find that this person moves to another room in your head and heart. You will feel more and more inner peace. You will realize that you have learned and grown a lot in the process of loving and letting go.
The wonderful thing is that we take a decisive step towards becoming better people when we find the limits of our own possibilities and accept them.