Everything is in motion and is constantly changing – and sometimes even backwards. The opportunities we have today and the freedoms we enjoy – be it freedom from family conventions, financial freedom or an uninhibited love life – were not available to any generation before us. We value our independence, traveling where we want, loving the people we want and having a lot of fun without having to commit ourselves all the time.
Because the world is full of possibilities, and we have the luxury of choice – and who knows what tomorrow will bring??! Some would say that "everything used to be better" and perhaps easier, because the more we are offered, the harder it is for us to commit to anything or anyone. This also applies to our love life, because here, too, something better could come around the corner at any moment (or so it seems).
That would have been absolutely unthinkable 100 years ago, because once you had decided on a partner, you stuck with it – and fought for your love. Of course, not everything was better in the past, because even today there are plenty of relationships that are made for eternity and in which both partners fight hard to achieve this goal – but nevertheless, some things have changed. Here are 5 examples of how we used to love – and how we love today.
#1 The priorities have changed
In the past, when you met someone you liked, you didn’t hesitate – you fell in love, got engaged and married – and started a family.
Today, when we meet someone, we always ask ourselves first, is she/he the right one?? What if it is not my great love – and there is someone else waiting for me, who is much better suited to me, better looking, more successful?? And, the biggest question of all: Am I ready for a relationship right now?? We analyze back and forth, can’t or don’t want to commit ourselves – and are always inwardly looking for an even better partner .
#2 The culture of argument has changed
In the past, people used to argue about important things, and then make up and reassure each other that everything was fine and that it was just a harmless argument. Then they talked about the problem and looked for a solution together.
Today we argue as if it’s always the other person’s fault. We let the partner stew and try to teach him/her a lesson, for example, by not responding to calls or messages – to show the person that he/she can’t treat us like that. In addition, we constantly think that something like this would certainly not happen to us with another partner – and here, too, we are always inwardly looking for someone who is less "dramatic", "chaotic" or whatever, and therefore more reliable, more successful and better-looking. In short, someone with whom everything is more harmonious.
#3 Communication has changed
In the past, couples were mostly honest with each other, showed their partner that they were loved, complimented them, accepted their mistakes, and even put themselves on the back burner sometimes – just to please their partner. They understood that a "perfect" relationship doesn’t exist and that sometimes a relationship is hard work and often not easy. But they also knew that it was worth fighting for and building a future together – because the happiness of the family was always considered the top priority. Back then, when your loved one called, you always answered – and if you missed the call, you called back immediately, because it could be important. And to hear an "I love you" on the phone – that was a really nice feeling.
Today, people often worry about how they are perceived by their partner. You really want to demonstrate your independence from your partner – and not appear needy at all. It can happen that you only answer your partner’s calls / Whatsapp messages after a few hours – or even just send a short emoji to communicate your feelings. And an "I love you" in today’s times is no longer what it used to be. At the latest since the McDonalds claim "I love it", "love" is a word that people like to use in every important and unimportant context ("I love to travel, I love this car, I love this picture, I love this, I love that…"). Thus, unfortunately, it is washed out and no longer as true as it once was. Because in the past, the word "love" simply stood for the feeling of one person for another – and nothing else.
#4 The fun culture has changed
In the past, the family always came first – and we fought hard to keep it together. For when you had chosen a person with whom to spend the rest of your life, you were loyal and devoted. Men were real "guys" and women were allowed to be "bitchy" or "a little difficult" sometimes – and were loved anyway. People knew then that there is no such thing as "perfection" – and that the beauty often lies in the small mistakes of the other person. You had fun together with your partner and family, or of course with friends, but you always returned to your loved ones in the evening.
Today we often can’t and don’t want to commit ourselves and just want to have fun – because who knows what tomorrow will bring??! We often spend our single lives (and sometimes our relationships) at parties with strangers and have fun flirting with as many people as possible, making out and then breaking their hearts because we don’t want a relationship after all – or are already in a relationship but missing something. We don’t care if now and then we wake up next to a stranger with whom we spent the night, about whom we know nothing, and then steal away stealthily so as not to have breakfast with the person or even to have to talk to him or her. We definitely don’t want to commit to one person right now, because who knows if something better will come along? Or just stay single, because, as we all know, the fun in a relationship often stops..
#5 Romance has changed
A look from your eyes into mine,
A kiss from your mouth on my mouth,
Who has, like me, certain customer,
May to what else seem pleasing?
Estranged from you, estranged from mine,
I always lead the thoughts around,
And always they meet that hour,
The only one; there I start to cry.
The tear dries again unawares:
He loves yes, I think, here into this silence,
And should you not reach into the distance?
Hear the lisp of that love wail;
My only happiness on earth is your will,
Your friendly, to me; give me a sign!
(Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)
A love text message early in the morning,
pleases the heart all day long.
It drives away your worries,
someone who likes you writes to you!
(Unknown – http://liebessinn.de)
How else has "love" changed from your point of view?? Share your opinions in the comments!